I don’t think it is any big secret that I feel God is calling Timothy and I to marriage, so typically people aren’t too shocked when they see my Pinterest or hear me talk about wedding planning. On top of this, most people know that I’d love to be a Catholic wedding planner and that working in marriage and family ministry puts weddings on my mind a lot.
Yet, this summer, as I spend countless hours sitting behind a computer at work with some free time on my hands, I’ve found myself spending a entirely too much time on Pinterest. I’ve also started following several wedding blogs – particularly Catholic ones.
But something serious has changed about my pinning and blog habits. I am no longer obsessing about color schemes and flower choices – I’m now pondering how we can teach our wedding party about the sacrament of marriage. Instead of the style of the invitation, I’m thinking about how we can intentionally form our guest list out of a desire to evangelize those we love. Rather than thinking about how I want to decorate the gift table, I’m now trying to figure out how a wedding registry can give our guests the opportunity to support and serve us as part of their community.
The superficial pinning of pretty dresses and decorative cake stands has transformed into the deep desire to not merely plan a wedding, but to prepare for a sacrament.
All of this excites me so much. It sets me on fire with the desire to make my marriage what is meant to be – a witness to and reflection of God’s love. And it makes my love for Timmy grow even more as we think more about not just a wedding day, but a life together.
So why then, as the title of this post states, am I giving up Pinterest & wedding blogs?
Because every pin and post is becoming more of a reality in my heart than it can be in my life.
The truth is, Timmy and I are anywhere from 1-2 years away from the reality of getting married. I know in my heart that getting married any sooner is not what is best for us or what God’s wondrous plan for our lives is. Yet, knowing that it is not God’s plan doesn’t necessarily make it easy. I am longing for a sacrament, for a life, that I am not called to live out yet.
And the more I’m on Pinterest or read wedding blogs, the more restless I become. This ache is taking me away from God’s plan for my life here & now. I know that the time that lies in between this moment and my wedding day is going to be so grace-filled. Just in this upcoming year alone, God has already given me so many blessings and I don’t want to miss them because I’m too busy looking toward the future. I can serve God this upcoming year in so many unique ways as a girlfriend, as a friend, as a student, etc. I am at a place in my life that I will never be at again, and I want to live it to the fullest.
As I went to pray this evening, I began reading St. Faustina’s Diary, and on the very first page I’m confronted with these words of hers:
O present moment, you belong to me, whole and entire. I desire to use you as best I can.
So I’m giving up Pinterest and wedding blogs. I’m setting my sights not on planning the beginning of my future vocation, but on how I can find, love and serve God right now. I ask that you pray for me as I continue on this journey, and know that I am praying for you too.
This post (with some exciting additions) has been featured on the blog Captive the Heart! You can read it HERE.
Make sure you check out the rest of Captive the Heart blog, it is incredible and by far my favorite Catholic wedding blog to date.