I made a really big decision last week that I think I should share with you all.
I’ve mentioned multiple times how I took a position as the World Youth Day 2016 Staff Assistant to the USA Headquarters at the USCCB. I also took a position as a part time volunteer intern at the Association for Catholic College and Universities. I was offered a full internship with ACCU, but turned it down to work for World Youth Day instead and I worked out a compromise with ACCU so I could intern a few hours a week.
I started the World Youth Day position last Monday, August 31st, and well…I quit. And I also decided to not intern with ACCU this fall either. I don’t think I’m going to go into that much detail, but I want to speak to how wonderful the surprises that God has thrown me for my senior year have been.
Going into senior year, I had a pretty clear picture of what this year would look like. I was going to be a senior, and a student, and a Student Minister, and work in President’s Society at CUA, and be the World Youth Day Staff Assistant, and volunteer intern for the Association of Catholic Colleges and Universities. And despite the fact that that sounds crazy to do all at the same time, I felt completely capable of handling it.
So I was incredibly shocked and surprised when I started this school year and nothing was quite what I thought it would be:
My academics shocked me by proving to be way more intensive that I thought they would be and it was clear that the reading due for my graduate classes was going to kick my butt with their time requirements.
But what really surprised me, and changed my heart in ways I can’t explain, was how much I fell in love with my ministry community this year. I am with 22 other student ministers, 19 of which I’ve never worked with before, and by week 2 together each and every one of them had a hold on my heart that I didn’t see coming. Their faith, their hearts, their openness to community, their maturity, their love, their ability to make my life so joyful and full of laughter…all of it has made me sit before them in wonder of the human heart and the face of Christ.
Not only have they changed me and made me feel so loved and at home in this community, but they have inspired me, pushed me and supported me in my ministry to my residents. The one on one encounters that I have had with each of them have inspired me to be fully present to my residents in that way as well.
And I realized that this is where I need to be right now…wholly and completely. As I went to work at the USCCB, I felt restless. I did not have peace with my decision to take the position, or commit so much of my time there, or pursue that opportunity. And I knew that that job deserved and needed someone who was so passionate about it that their heart burned because of it. But mine didn’t, and the more I prayed about it, the more I desired to be in a place of one on one encounters for a career and for ministry; the more I was affirmed that God is calling me to a career with college students.
As part of my discernment of this call to work with college students, I felt God was telling me to discern within the positions I already have. I felt Him whispering to me to Be Still. To be a student, and a Student Minister, and work in President’s Society. All of these positions allow me to directly work with, minister to and walk with college students.
So that is what I am doing. I decided to take a semester off from work and be still. This year has opened my heart to God’s call to be exactly where I am and let Him work within my life.
P.S. enjoy this picture of some of my community members that I love oh so much.